by Valerie M. Grissom

Why do we practice prayer intergenerationally? (1)

Jesus first modeled prayer for his disciples, saying, “pray like me,” inviting all the disciples to pray together, “Our Father…” (Matt 6:9-13) The disciples learned by engaging together in prayer, learning to pray in the way of Jesus. And we, as disciples of Jesus are also invited to learn and pray with one another in the same way through intergenerational communities of prayer. (2)

Jesus could have begun this prayer with “my Father,” but instead, He lets us know that we too can pray “our Father.” Because we are “in Christ,” we are God’s children, and have “full access” to God. (Gal 3:26-28; Eph 3:12) We can come to God with our deepest concerns, bringing our cares and concerns, our joys and celebration, our praise and worship to God (Psalm 55:22; Psalm 100; Phil 4:6-7; 1 Thess 5:16-18; 1 Pet 5:7)

Prayer is a spiritual practice that we can engage in anytime, anywhere. We can pray alone to God, or with others in our community and around the world. (3)

In a Western culture that often emphasizes a personalized faith, we must ask ourselves: why is it important that all generations learn to pray together? Here are some important results of intergenerational prayer in corporate worship as well as at home:

Learning How to Pray

Prayer is a learn-by-doing practice. We can talk about prayer all day long, but until we actually do it and experience it, it becomes difficult to know how to participate in prayer. Children and youth need to see all the generations of the church praying, as well as the members of their family praying in order to experience and learn how to pray. (4) But they need to do more than “see” prayer; they need to participate in prayer with others. (5) Often, children will say that they would not know how to pray if it were not for their family inviting them to participate by simply saying mealtime and bedtime prayers from an early age. We learn to pray when we are invited to participate in the practice of prayer.

Faith Formation

Prayer is also a formational practice: the more we do it, the more we are formed by God in the practice. Engaging in prayers with different generations, and seeing the faith and diversity of prayers in Christian community, increases our faith experience over time and how we relate to God, community, and the world. As we experience praying with people of all ages in community, we learn and grow as we experience them learning and growing together, as we all experience and respond to God together. (6)

Increased Empathy for Others

Praying together in community teaches us all empathy. Hearing different generations and people of diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, gender, culture, and socio-economic standings all coming to God increases our ability to really put ourselves in the other’s shoe, as we hear people cry out to God for things other than what we might need or experience or even understand. (7) Praying in Christian community expands our view of the world and what God is doing, and invites us to embrace compassion for others and to join in God’s moving around the world.

Mutuality and Reciprocity in Community

The Spirit gathers people of all ages and all diversities to come together to pray. Sharing our burdens with one another teaches us to participate in authentic, relational discipleship, where all are valued and all can come together to pray for one another. We learn to both offer and receive the prayers of one another in mutuality and reciprocity.

Participation in God’s Mission (8)

Intergenerational prayer helps us all experience God’s Kingdom come, here on earth, now, in the present. We engage in a more complete picture of the Gospel enacted, with all ages participating in God’s redemption already at work in our world. We hear the voices of God’s people together, and we are invited to participate fully in the mission of the triune God.

How do we practice prayer in intergenerational communities?

Although we can explore many facets of prayer, all ages can begin by praising God, listening to God and one another, and asking God to supply our needs and the needs of others around us.

Praise

Praising God can be done in so many ways. Perhaps praise is written out in a beautiful prayer through a poem or song, or through a simple activity that we practice at the dinner table, in the car driving to school or work, or in our journals. Praising can be quiet or boisterous, simple or complex. Praise honors God for who God is, not needing to ask for anything in return. Importantly, praise acknowledges God’s sovereignty and rule over all creation; a posture of praise in prayer yields to God’s working in our lives and our community. (9) Praise is often expressed to God in gratitude and thanksgiving. Gratitude is the practice of being thankful, but when we direct our gratitude and thanks toward God, it becomes prayer.

Listen

Praying with all ages present in our worship gatherings or at home requires deep listening to God and to one another. Human default in prayer leans toward self-directed prayers, addressing personal needs and concerns, and while this is important, prayer can be a great spiritual practice in community that helps us listen more closely to God and one another, paying attention to what God is saying, and hearing the greater needs of our family, friends, community, and world.

Ask

Children need to see that, within intergenerational faith communities, we can come boldly to God, in Jesus’ name, asking for anything. (John 14:13) One of the most beautiful things happens when children and youth are invited to pray with elder generations who regularly come to God boldly, asking God to supply their needs: children experience authentic, real, transformative faith of elder generations. Intergenerational prayer means that children are invited as valued members to pray with all generations about real-life problems. Even more, what an amazing thing it is when a child realizes that other people, whether old or young, will hear this child’s need, and boldly come to God with them, asking for God to supply, protect, encourage, strengthen, and much more. An even greater sense of participation and belonging in community occurs when children realize that these elder generations need and receive prayers on their behalf, as well.

The Child Practicing Prayer in Intergenerational Community

Unfortunately, today, so many churches separate children and youth from corporate worship gatherings, and one of the biggest travesties related to this trend is that children and youth are not witnessing and participating in the prayers of God’s people! As discussed above, children of intergenerational praying communities are immersed in powerful faith formation experiences when they are invited to participate in the practice of intergenerational prayer at church and/or home. They not only share their burdens with elders or younger people, but they can also listen and pray for others in their community.

This idea of mutuality and reciprocity embedded within an intergenerational community offers a space of authentic, relational sharing where the child is not elevated, but treated as an equal in praying as a disciple of Jesus. As children and youth pray with others in community, they learn a real, authentic faith that goes with them into adulthood and beyond. They not only have prayer modeled for them, but they fully participate in the spiritual practice of prayer and are formed, developing deep authentic faith in Jesus.

Possible First Steps

Prayer is a multi-faceted practice, and faith communities and families have unique contexts and conditions, so intergenerational prayer practices need to be contextualized with many iterations. Below, are a few first steps to consider when facilitating the intergenerational practice of prayer in your faith communities and homes:

1 – Invite All Ages to Join in and Lead Prayer

When we let only one or two people lead prayer in our worship gatherings (i.e. a pastor or elder), we encourage people, and especially children and youth, to be passive onlookers at prayer. Often, even older adults feel their prayer is not professional enough for church. If we only see prayer as something the pastor does, then that might lead people, including children, to believe that they cannot come to God anywhere, anytime in prayer. Instead, what would it look like for us to invite people of all generations to participate in leading prayers, whether in the form of responsive liturgies or songs, or community prayers? Even further, what would it look like for us to invite responses to prayers from all people during pastoral prayers? One minister asks each Sunday in the middle of the pastoral prayer, “And what shall the people of God pray for today?,” inviting all ages to join in sharing their concerns and burdens with the congregation. Similarly, another pastor leads a time of response where they invite the congregation to respond after people share their concern or praise. “We give thanks to you, O Lord,” or “We lift this prayer to you, O God.” Here, we need to constantly be asking, both at church and at home: “How might we invite all ages to participate with us in the practice of prayer?”

At home, it could be as simple as enabling family members to take turns leading the blessing of the family meal. Perhaps it might involve asking each member to share a concern or prayer, and enabling a family to pray for one another. Maybe it could be a repetitive prayer printed on placemats at the table for everyone to pray together coupled with a family ritual, or perhaps it is prayer through art or a prayer walk through the woods utilizing terra divina. (10)

Intergenerational prayer means that children lead and minister to us in prayer. One of my favorite things about being intergenerational in the home is realizing that I don’t have to be everything for my children’s spiritual growth. God calls all of us, each in our own gifting and experience, to grow as a family of faith together. So, in that vein, I often ask my children to create prayer experiences with me that fit our family rhythms. Often, they surprise me in the creation of new prayer responses that I could have never imagined on my own. In the same way, I am often challenged and invigorated when children help me imagine new ways to engage with God through prayer when planning for worship at church. Enabling children to help us experience prayer tells them they are equal contributors in our household of faith, and what a powerful thing it is to have your children praying for you!

2 – Facilitate Embodied Prayers

Often, prayers remain word-oriented in church gatherings, (11) but all ages and all people benefit from the multiple ways that prayer can be embodied in worship, whether at church or at home. Physical actions often internalize and express a prayer much deeper than hearing mere words. For instance, a faith community in Kazakhstan will hold out their palms to receive the prayer and then, while saying “amen,” they brush their palms and fingers over their bodies, from head downward, to signify that God is receiving the prayers they just said. (12) We can adopt diverse embodiment practices such as this to enable multiple modalities of response to God in prayer. Resources in this regard abound, but I have listed some at the end of this article for you to explore at church and at home. Here, it is important to emphasize a need for us to offer mutliple modalities to make prayer participation accessible for all ages, learning styles, and abilities. (13)

3 – Include a Diverse Breadth of Prayer

The dangerous aspect of only listing “praise, listen, ask” in the description of prayer above, is that it might limit us in our view of prayer. We never want to limit the breadth, emotion, styles, or diversity of prayers offered in our worship gatherings; rather, let’s open ourselves to diverse expressions of prayer through confession, lament, praise, thanksgiving, and so much more. Although much of our worship centers on praise and thanksgiving, how might we offer prayers that give people of all ages space for sadness, anger, discouragement, fear, but also joy and celebration? We can offer liturgically-styled prayers, but also spontaneous, conversational prayers. We can pray in colors, (14) through art, drama, dance, and song. We can engage all ages in variations of imaginative prayer. (15) We can pray in various heart languages and invite diverse styles of prayers from around the world. I remember when my Korean classmate taught us to pray with all ages, joining in singing in Korean Tongsung Kido. That day I had a glimpse of what “heaven on earth” might really be like, when “every tribe and tongue” will worship around the throne of God (Rev 7:9), as I listened to various languages, emotions, and heartfelt prayers, all in our own voices and languages, but lifted together collectively to God.

With all that said, please don’t forget Scripture! We should saturate our worship with biblically-based liturgies and prayers. At the same time, we benefit from engaging in prayers written by saints (16) throughout Christian history, past and present, around the world. Importantly, let’s intentionally utilize the prayers of children offered both locally and globally in our practice of prayer.

4 – Create Prayer Spaces

Consider offering creative prayer spaces where people can engage before, during, or after worship gatherings, whether at church or at home, utilizing creative worship arts and tactile items to provide possibilities for expression through the arts and much more. These prayer spaces can be referred to in worship or left to be stations to experience independently. Multiple ideas for creating prayer spaces abound, whether on Pinterest or in existing worship resources. (17) I have seen prayer stations assembled in worship gatherings that help all ages engage in prayer together: writing prayers with Sharpies on sticky notes, using an Expo marker to write on a Prayer Wall, weaving multicolored ribbon prayers like a tapestry, offering broken prayers through textured mosaic glass assembling a communal mosaic art cross, attaching prayers leaves on a communal prayer tree, and so much more. Creativity abounds in this area. I encourage you to get creative. And if you lack creativity, ask the children of your church to help you! You might be surprised how thoughtful and imaginative their ideas might be, ministering to your whole congregation.

There is something powerful when children feel included in prayer by the whole people of God, and when the people of God make prayer for all ages a regular rhythm of worship. Of course, most of these creative prayer practices can be adapted for family rhythms. Again, let’s remember that most of us experience God in prayer through multiple modalities and expressions. Let’s not give our children or the people of God the idea that prayer can only be one way–a mouth full of words.

5 – Offer Intergenerational Prayer Partnerships

Tony Souder, who leads the Pray for Me Campaign (18) has designed books with questions made to engage prayer partners of different generations assigned to each other in faith communities. Thousands of people are using these prayer partnerships in multiple denominations across the country. Consider how you might start such a program in your faith community, encouraging intentional intergenerational relationships through the spiritual practice of prayer.

Intergenerational prayer is a powerful, transformative, essential practice in the formation of children’s faith. And that is reciprocal: children’s participation in the spiritual practice of communal prayer is vital to our faith formation as well. As you seek to facilitate intergenerational prayer in your context, below is a list of resources to get you started.

Resources

• Barrie, Wendy Claire. Faith At Home: A Handbook for Cautiously Christian Parents. New York: Morehouse Publishing, 2014.
• Boyd, Jared Patrick. Imaginative Prayer: A Yearlong Guide for Your Child’s Spiritual Formation. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2017.
• Building Faith Website, https://buildfaith.org/
• Cho, Teresa. “Intergenerational Prayer Stations.” Still Waters. Accessed September 15, 2024, https://theresaecho.com/interactive-prayer-stations/
• DeBoer, Karen. “Intergenerational Activities on the Faith Practice of Prayer,” The Network, The Christian Reformed Worship, April 20, 2022, accessed June 2, 2025, https://network.crcna.org/topic/spiritual-formation/faith-practices/intergenerational-activities-faith-practice-prayer
• Daily Prayer Project, https://www.dailyprayerproject.com/
• Hides, Christine V. “Prayer Stations for All Ages.” Weaving Faith into Everyday Life. March 11, 2016, accessed September 15, 2024, lent-psalms-photo-prayers.docx (live.com).
• Illustrated Ministries, https://www.illustratedministry.com/
• MacBeth, Sybil. Praying in Color: Drawing a New Path to God. Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press, 2019.
• McDaniel, Terra. Hopeful Lament: Tending Our Grief Through Spiritual Practices. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2023.
• Pray for Me Campaign, https://prayformecampaign.com/
• The Faith Practices Project, Christian Reformed Church, https://www.crcna.org/FaithPracticesProject/prayer.
• Sipes, Breen Marie. “Tried and Tested Youth Ministry Resources.” Good God Ideas. https://goodgodideas.wordpress.com/author/breenmarie/
• Smith, Traci. Prayers for Faithful Families: Creating Sacred Moments at Home. St. Louis, MO: Chalice Press, 2020.
• Wilkinson, Shivaun. “Prayer Partners: Building Intentional, Intergenerational Community.” https://buildfaith.org/prayer-partners/

Footnotes

1. This article is adapted and used by permission from Valerie M. Grissom.
2. See Johannah Myers, “Apprenticing Faith Together: Helping adults Understand Discipleship and Their Role in Intergenerational Community,” in All Ages Becoming: Intergenerational Practice in the Formation of God’s People, edited by Valerie M. Grissom (Abilene, TX: Abilene Christian University Press, 2023), 75-83. Myers proposes that an “apprenticeship” model of discipleship that sees all ages apprenticing in the way of Jesus as vital to intergenerational ministry. With this model, I uphold a model of apprenticeship in regard to intergenerational prayer in the way of Jesus.
3. See Rory Noland, “Let Us Pray!”, in Transforming Worship: Planning and Leading Sunday Services as if Spiritual Formation Mattered (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2021), 91-107. Noland explores prayer throughout Bible times, and a necessity for us to recover an “all in” transformative approach to having all people pray in worship.
4. See Vernie Schorr Love, “Chapter Two: The Practice of Prayer—Talk with God,” in Spiritual Disciplines for Children: A Guide to a Deeper Spiritual Life for You and Your Children (Lafayette, CO: Character Choice, 2012), 21-33. Love says that “teacher and parent examples of prayer are more powerful than anything you say to children about prayer.” (22) Love also provides several practical resources in this chapter for helping facilitate prayer as a spiritual practice with children at church and at home.
5. See Robbie Castleman, “Prayer, Confession and Canned Goods,” in Parenting in the Pew: Guiding Your Children into the Joy of Worship (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1993), 81-95. Castleman warns against only teaching kids to “parrot prayers,” but instead “be taught to pray by entering at an early age into the uncertainties as well as the joys of prayer.” (82) Castleman talks about how children seeing honesty in the prayers of adults at home and at church deepens their faith experience (86-89).
6. See Holly Catterton Allen, “How Do Intergenerational Settings Nurture Christian Spirituality?,” in Forming Resilient Children: The Role of Spiritual Formation for Healthy Development (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2021), 82-88. Allen describes how children participating in prayer intergenerationally referred to prayer more often than those from non-intergenerational settings in her research (84). She also describes the meaningful experience of her thirteen-year-old son Daniel praying for her, and how that deepened their bond, as well as their experience of faith (84).
7. Sandra Maria Van Opstal, The Next Worship: Glorifying God in a Diverse World (Downer’s Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2016), 62-76. According to Van Opstal, reconciliation in worship involves three equally important values: hospitality, solidarity, and mutuality. These three qualities could also be said of when we engage in intergenerational (intercultural) prayer.
8. For a more robust outlook that sees prayer in worship as participation in God’s mission, see Thomas H. Schattauer, ed., Inside Out: Worship in an Age of Mission (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 1999).
9. John Witvliet, “The Opening of Worship: Trinity,” in A More Profound Alleluia: Theology and Worship in Harmony, edited by Leanne Van Dyk (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2005), 1-27. Witvliet finds that “every time we sing praise to the triune God, we are asserting our opposition to anything that would attempt to stand in God’s place.” (12) Similarly, see Norman Wirzba, Living the Sabbath: Discovering the Rhythms of Rest and Delight (Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2006), 28. Wirzba describes “a posture of praise” that will reorder our daily lives, “so that the priorities of God take precedence.” (28)
10. Terra divina is the practice of engaging with God in the outdoors (“terra” means earth). See more about how to engage children and families in the practice of terra divina in Terra McDaniel, Hopeful Lament: Tending Our Grief Through Spiritual Practices (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2023), 92-95. McDaniel is a spiritual director for children, so she offers multiple ways throughout this book to engage with children intergenerationally in the spiritual practice of lament.
11. See Robert Pendergraft, “Building Ramps Instead of Stairs: Universal Design in Planning Intergenerational Worship,” in All Ages Becoming: Intergenerational Practice in the Formation of God’s People, edited by Valerie M. Grissom (Abilene, TX: Abilene Christian University Press, 2023), 117-130. Pendergraft advocates for worship planning that utilizes multiple modalities for all ages to respond to God, and offers principles of Universal Design to aid in making worship more accessible.
12. Shared by Nancy Nethercott during chapel at The Robert Institute for Worship, Jacksonville, Florida, June 2024.
13. See Barbara J. Newman and Betty Grit, Accessible Gospel, Inclusive Worship (Wyoming, MI: All Belong, 2014). Newman and Grit advocate for prayer in worship “where we can each tell God ‘I love you’ and we can each say the prayer words ‘Help me.’” (9)
14. See Sybil MacBeth, Praying in Color: Drawing a New Path to God (Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press, 2019).
15. See Jared Patrick Boyd, Imaginative Prayer: A Yearlong Guide for Your Child’s Spiritual Formation (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2017). Boyd offers ways to engage with Scripture through imaginative prayer.
16. I define “saints” here as people, both living and dead, who are “in Christ.” This aligns with the idea of “communion of saints,” from the Apostle’s Creed, referring to the deep mystical union, or fellowship of the members of the Christian Church, living and dead.
17. Multiple sources for creating prayer spaces, as well as “pray spaces” abound. One of my favorites is Teresa Cho, “Intergenerational Prayer Stations,” Still Waters, accessed September 15, 2024, but I offer many more resources at the end of this article.
18. See Tony Souder, Pray for Me Campaign, https://prayformecampaign.com/. Also see Shivaun Wilkinson, “Prayer Partners: Building Intentional, Intergenerational Community.” Building Faith, accessed June 2024, https://buildfaith.org/prayer-partners/.